"...dankest adventure ever..."
"You deserved this adventure"
"This was like you turned this up to eleven and higher until all the knobs broke"
"...what the fuck is this shit..."
"It's like completely over the top all the time, but never becomes lame"
"Most we've ever laughed at this game"
Wow. Just wow. This is the story I've been itching to tell you. In fact, I've been churning these chapters out quickly just so I could get to this one.
Towers Two was a spectacle, where the ingenuity of my players met the absolute craziness of the Brockie's brain. And it exploded into tiny pieces. Of flaming shit. Fukken metal.
Before we get to the nasty, I have one thing to say: For all Portugese reading this, I am truly sorry. We don't really think your nation is like this. Nor do we want anyone to think it is.
Alright, lets get to it.
The crew had been sailing along the coast of Portugal and when they entered the shores of Hune, they immediately knew something was awry. It might have been the murky brown ocean water that faintly smelled of shit. It might have been the heavy drizzle that seeped through even thickest clothing and left a sticky, slightly brown tang. Or it might have just been the air.
Mlag might once have been a prosperous town. Now it was far from it. Through their spyglass the League spied one abandoned and defiled house after another, neglected and overgrown salt pits, a ruined lighthouse and few boats with their lethargic inhabitants. One of them was taking a shit in the water.
"Do we really have to go there?" Siegfried asks, though he already knows the answer.
They don't want to dock, so they anchor in the middle of the bay and row towards shore. There's one ship moored there, tha charmingly named Sea Slut. Its captain Olaf comes to meet the visitors.
"What the fuck are you doing in this Odin forsaken shitcastle?"
"None of your business, even if I'm beginning to wonder too", Reggie replies.
"I'll give ya one piece of advice. Get the hell out, there's nothing in here."
"Then why are you here?"
"I swear I'd rather be anywhere else. But my ship was caught in a storm and we had to take shelter here. Now our sails are torn and my worthless crew is too drunk to make repairs."
"Then stop giving them rum!"
"You think I didn't? They go to the Slippery spot, the only drinking hole remaining. This place used to have thriving salt business, but nowadays the locals don't do nothing but drink."
A sudden realisation hits Reggie:
"There's nothing but shit in here... What is the booze made of?! What is it MADE OF?!"
They feel pity for the old captain and make a deal to rent their (currently) sober crew to repair his ship. In return Olaf gives them one barrel from his cargo, ten kilos worth of opium.
"A steal, but it's not like I can sell it here."
Reggie vows that their crew won't be making it to the shore. "I'll double your rum ration, if you stay on the ship! Not even a foot on land, you hear me! It's made of shit! Everything is!"
At this point most of the adventurers only want to leave, but then they would have made the trip for nothing. And besides, Sea Slut's repairs would take a day or two to complete.
"Fuck Portugal! Fuck Portuguese! No wonder they all want to leave!" Siegfried curses.
"Hey, have a little pity. These people have nothing but shit and booze", Reggie says. "- that is made from shit."
"Lets hang on a little further. I was told to meet Razzak here. Maybe he's not that bad", Petrus cheers them up.
The party starts making their way towards the Slippery spot. Locals are not the most welcoming bunch - most they pass by are black out drunk, fornicating with boars or both. Most of the buildings are abandoned and barely hold together.
They pause, when loud racket comes from one of them. Wilbur spies a monstrous giant of a man, who's apparently frustrated and waiting for someone.
So, having no better ideas, Ben knocks the door. This confuses Gorbai, the monstrous boar-man on the other side. So, he does the thing he does best, opens the door and tries to kill the intruder.
Unfortunately for Gorbai, Ben takes shit from no one and has had Enlarge cast on him and with Petrus helping a little, the leader of the boar men is killed. The one he was supposed to meet gets away.
They reluctantly loot the monstrosity and find few things with anything value - the only valuable jewelry is Gorbai's cock ring, which no one wants to touch for obvious reasons. Except Ben, who pockets the stone happily.
The League reaches the Spot that has been shoddily barricaded and, when they knock on the gates, they are greeted by a sullen group with crossbows loaded and ready.
"Get the fuck out, Osuka! You an' your friends not welcome!"
"Who the fuck is Osuka?" Siegfried asks.
"No, he's Ben. We've never heard of any Osuka", Wilbur helps.
The debate goes on for a while with the locals either too stubborn or too stupid to listen. Eventually they agree to let everyone in - but Ben.
"We not letting the giant in. No Osuka, we tell you."
This makes Ben mad. He's sick of always being left outside and he's sick of the sickly sweet smell of this town. He roars in rage and swings his maul over the gate at the villagers, who put up a weak defence, but get crushed easily with some managing to flee inside.
They hear the door getting barricaded and Will decides to have some fun, so he throws some of his special coin inside.
Special in the way that they have explosive runes cast on them. A moment later explosion booms from inside and a desperate cry "Enrique, why ya hafta die?!"
So Will casts the runes on his wooden apple and throws it in.
He doesn't get to listen to the results, though, because Siegfried and Reggie get enough of tomfoolery and drag the rest away.
"Lets just get to the towers, deal with whatever's in there and get the hell out", says the ever-professional Siegfried.
"You fiend! These people only have shit and booze. And friends. And you took them away Ben!" Reggie berates his comrade. "Do these pitiful folk really deserve your anger? Really?"
On their way they hear a child's cry from an overgrown field and decide to shoot bolts at it. They move on, when Ben spies with his true sight that the monstrosity flees underground.
"That's probably the Suck-thing the locals mentioned", Reggie knows.
Soon after Gorbai's cock ring and Ben's new prize begins vibrating and emitting strange noises.
Ben fumbles for it and when he touches the gem, a pale, pudgy face appears on its surface.
"Gorbai, do your arse-pimples bleed again or why the fuck you are so late? Wait... You are not Gorbai at all! Explain yourself!" says the image in the gem.
"Hello. I'm Big Ben and I killed the pig man with my friends. Was he your servant?" Ben answers.
"You ignorant fool! Do you not know whose wrath you've incurred by killing the foul Gorbai? It is I, Razak the Magnificent, Lord of Hune and Master Necromancer!"
"That's a long name."
"But you must be mighty for only the mighty could have felled my champion. You should come to my tower for I could offer you servitude."
"Okay! But I have someone that wants to meet you. Petrus, come here!"
"So, this is the lich-spawn that the Ghouls talked of? Come closer!"
Petrus reluctantly does so. "Shit, I'm starting to regret taking his offer seriously..."
"Yees, very good. I have much to teach you. Of Power and Magics! You all must come to my tower for us to discuss!" Razzak concludes and closes the connection.
"The sick fuck. That was a cock ring. Does this mean that every time Razak and the thing talk to each other, the monster was handling his own junk?" Reggie ponders. He clearly thinks too much for his own sanity.
It's dark when they reach the two towers.
"What? They're right next to each other! How is it even possible to wage war here, you can't even fit one army here save two!" Siegrfied rants.
They knock on the gates they hope are correct ones (the tower has more shit smears, so it's obviously more evil). No one answers the door, but after awhile a lantern appears on the top.
"Behold! For it is I, Razak the Great! Cower before me!"
"Hey asshole! Lets get this done quick!"
"Yes of course! I shall prove you my power with my second-grandest invention! Behold the fearsome cunt whip!" Razak bellows as he brandishes something that looks like a leathery string tipped by a vagina.
"Oh lord, are we seriously dealing with this guy?" Siegfried asks.
"That's kinda cool", Petrus admits.
"You must slay my limp-dicked gay brother Zal and I shall teach you all about mighty Deathfuck magic! And you shall gain a boon that is 50 000 silver pieces in size. Take his lump of black tar heroin I've cut with rat feces. He will not be able to resist its lure."
"Alright, alright, we'll do it. Just give that... thing to us and we'll leave", Siegfried says.
"And remember to cut his shriveled cock, jam it into his mouth and then bring it to me, for I want to know that he's been gelded! And I desire to see spit on it!"
"Alright. Yup, yup. Oh boy, so this is what we do now", Reggie says.
Under the cloak of night the party crosses the miniature battlefield to the other tower. After about an hour of knocking someone finally answers from the window. No, they're not interested in buying anything.
"Not even this big lump of heroin we have?"
"Err.. Umm... Just get it."
The gates open and several of Zal's ripped palace guard escort the adventurers in, only Boris and Will are left outside because one refuses to be disarmed and the other doesn't really bother going in.
"Don't worry, Boris, I have an idea", Will promises.
"Get your fucking hands off me, degenerate elf!" Boris yells as Will casts Invisibility and Fly, grabs Boris and flies up towards the roof. Meanwhile the guards bring some moldy blankets for the others to sleep on.
Imagine the surprise of the night guards when they spot a flying midget invading their airspace.
"A dwarf, not a midget you fools!"
"State your business!"
"I have no business! Fucking let me down, you idiot!"
"Err, what do you mean? -Don't move!" the guards shout as Will lets go of Boris.
"We're being attacked by an invisible flying terrorist elf! Quickly! To arms!" Boris shouts as he assumes his most commandeering tone. The guards, still confused, scramble to fire at the air. They manage to reveal Will, but can do little when he flies away.
"Lucky you had me to save your from that terrorist! He works for vile Razak, you know?" Boris continues. The guard, having no other ideas, declare him a hero and bring him into the keep.
"We'll introduce you to General Cromwell on the morrow."
His plans foiled, Will recasts Invisibility and flies to the other tower. There he spies few of the pig guard playing cards, engaging in sinful deeds and neglecting the loaded catapult. He decides that something has to be done and whispers into the nearest pig man's ear:
"Hey there. I am wind. I want to help you."
"Oi? Grog, ya say sumfin?"
"Nah, jus' let it rip real wet."
"Go to the catapult! Aim it and destroy the tower!"
"Wassat? Dun min if I do, hehe."
With a lot of patient advice Will eventually teaches the pig men to aim the catapult. They fire it, but the shoddy bricks manage little other than make a racket and scratch the already worn side of Zal's tower.
Will tries to kill his comrades a couple of times more before Zal's guards launch a counter-offensive with their ballista.
Dejected, Will flies away into the mountains. He finds a nice cave, creates a door with Minor Creation, Wizard locks it and sleeps.
Come the morning the party is woken up and served breakfast. It's roast pig.
While waiting for Cromwell they chat up a few of the guards and find out something peculiar: few remember how long they've worked here or even where they're from. They seemed to be vaguely aware of Mlag, but didn't know much of the wider world.
"I think I don't like this Zal", Reggie decides.
Cromwell, who looks old enough to be a walking corpse, proves to be competent enough and the League is given a tour around the tower. Boris is commended for his bravery against the elven terrorist and gifted a piece of palace guard armour. "No way I'm ever wearing that", he replies with gratitude.
Cromwell says that Boris might have a career in the guard, if he wasn't a short and hairy dwarf (he personally has nothing against them, but the young lord has his standards). Siegfried worries about Hildi and her safety, and Cromwell assures she won't have a finger laid on her.
"Too young for the young lord."
Eventually they are allowed an audience with Lord Zal, who sits in his oval throne room awaiting... and apparently snoring.
After a small beat Cromwell awkwardly suffles beside his lord and gently nudges him - and sending waves through his massive gut.
"Hurhg, waf? O yeff, tfe heroef! I hear you haf bufineff to do wif me."
"Yes. We heard about your evil brother and are willing to hear, if there's a reward for his head."
Zal licks his lips. Hildi almost vomits.
"Yef, he'f a nuifanfe. But you had fomefing for me?"
Deadpan sigh erupts from the whole party.
"Yes, we have a clump of pure heroin right here."
"Exfellent! Let uf retreat to my chamberf to difcuff thif deal!"
With great amount of effort (and some help from Cromwell) Zal rises from his chair and wobbles towards a door. When it opens, a sickly sweet smell of opium and decay wafts into the throne room.
"Hurgh, do we have to?" Wilbur asks.
"Oh yef, it'f not proper to do thif in front of the guard."
Reluctantly they follow Zal into his bedroom, where the floor is crusted with used syringes, battered opium pipes and rags wet with vile ichors. There are a bunch nubile maidens scattered around the bed, all in some stages of stupor. Zal heaves himself onto the bed.
"You fee, I would much like to get rid of my brother. He'f a mighty wifard, but I have found where hif powerf come from."
"I'm not sure we want to hear it", Siegfried interjects.
"Hif magic comef from hif pair fwollen tefticles and fhrunken weenie. You fhould really fee them, it'f like a bratwurft fitting on top of two li'l melonf."
"There's one mental image I'm never again getting out", Reggie says.
("I was right, I didn't want to hear it" - Siegfried)
"Cut the wiener off and he'f helpleff!"
"And how are we supposed to do that?" Petrus asks.
"Eafily! My brother if a raving fex addict. Offer him fome homofex and he'll drop everyfing an rufh for your bum."
"... This was exactly what I didn't want to hear", Wilbur says.
"I can do it", Ben says.
"What." go everyone else.
"One more fing! A great magician made me thif: Invifible Chaftity Belt of the Dentata!" Zal says and reveals something from his drawers. "It haf a hole where bum goef and if you put anyfing through it, thif happenf."
He picks up a carrot from god knows where and sticks it through an invisible hole in the invisible belt. There's a loud snap and the carrot is cut in half.
"O-kay... Was there a reward for any of this?"
"Yef, of courfe! I'll gladly pay you 10 000 filver to bring me my brotherf wiener and of courfe you are entitled to any loot you find from the tower."
"Oh well, for the lack of any better ideas, we'll consider this. We should go."
"Waf there fomething you were fuppofed to have for me?"
"What no... Oh for fucks sake, here you go", Siegfried says and Petrus gives Zal the heroin. Which Zal promptly devours and immediately passes out on the bed.
"Lets just go", Siegfried says.
"Why go back? He's out cold. We could kill him right here and now and get this over with. Besides, Razak promised us more", Petrus asks.
"Do you really want his money? It's probably crusted with shit... Lets talks to Razak one more time. We can return and do the deed, if we decide otherwise", Wilbur says.
"I'm beginning to think we should kill them both, while we can", Boris adds his two cents.
"Wait just a moment", Reggie says and goes to Zal. He takes a good look at his penis, measures it and even cops a handful.
"... Why the fuck did you do that?" Siegfried asks, shocked.
"So I can make an illusion to fool Razak."
They get past suspicious Cromwell by pointing out sleeping Zal and then accept an escort outside. By happenstance they ran into Will, who had returned from his mountain retreat.
On their way to the tower they fiddle a bit with their Kazza stone, figure out it has a call directory (with penises instead of names), accidentally call Cromwell twice and fail to reach Razak.
"Lets just knock."
They do so and no one answers. They do so second time and a bestial grunt tells them to screw themselves.
"I meant Knock", Wilbur says.
"None of us have it prepped", Petrus replies.
"I have!" Wilbur says and lifts his sleeve. "I got this tattoo from the Skinsmith."
"Neat", the others reply.
So Wilbur Knocks the gates that open and reveal one very surprised pig man.
"Wot? Dun come, the ceiling's tra-"
The League piles in and thus trigger the trap. Rocks fall. It triggers the Gorillabear in the guard room. It charges in.
Siegfried bull rushes it back to the room. Will casts Wizard lock on the door.
Siegfried kills the beast.
"Fuck this place", Reggie states. The others agree.
They go further in and meet a hungover ogre (who's also well hung, now that you mention it). Before he has time to get angry, Siegfried starts yelling at him and demanding he show them around. He obeys, if just to get the noise to stop.
In the next room they encounter a chest. Wilbur considers cracking it open, but decides against it when he hears snoring inside.
They move towards the top, barely glancing at other floors. The tower is mostly empty. Now that Gorbai isn't keeping order, everyone is out raiding.
Up top they ditch the ogre and look through Razak's rooms. They are especially impressed by his throne ("A throne fit for a mighty wizard!" Reggie praised it). The undead Voiden give them slight concern, but they don't bother doing anything to them as they fail to do anything but bump into each other so far.
In Razzak's lab they encounter and swiftly kill an amputated... thing that resembles Razak with tits, but when prodded grows spiderlegs.
"That table is a genuine rape table. At least +4, it's probably the best rape table on the whole continent", Reggie knows.
Ben finds a peculiar mirror behind a curtain and briefly converses with a space satan Maloderus Bungus.
But when the satan flenses Ben with hooks, he gets offended and closes the connection.
"Should we try to figure out what it thinks of all this?" Petrus asks.
"Don't you remember? We only deal with unionized demons now!" Reggie reminds him.
Having snooped around enough they get bored and again try to contact Razak with the Kazza stone. This time they succeed.
"Where the hell are you?" Razak yells through the connection.
"We did what you asked. We have Zal's dong. We're in your tower."
"The fuck you have! Oh Loigoi dammit... just stay where you are!" Razak rages and closes the link. Soon after a huffing and puffing Razak appears from the throne room.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" he demands.
"We did what you asked, your brother is dead", Reggie says and shows an illusory version of Zal's dong. (It might also have been made with Minor Creation, I'm not sure.)
"That ain't his cock and you didn't kill my brother. Perhaps I was wrong about you."
"How can you know we didn't kill him?" Siegfried asks.
"I just know. And now I'll show you lying bastards..."
"Before you try to kill us, lets have a quick fuck, okay?" Ben says.
"What? Oh yes, you should have said so immediately!" Razak replies, his bloodlust replaced with pure lust. "Come with me, won't you? And the rest of you, stay the fuck where you are!"
So, Razak escorts Ben into his lab. "Get on the table", he commands while licking his lips and undressing. To his horror Ben sees that Razzak's member really resembles a bratwurst.
Yet he undresses and obeys. I dare not ask why.
Ben flinches when the shackles fasten around his limbs, but still he stays silent.
As silent as he's when Razak clambers on the table, his thing up and ready. He comes uncomfortably close.
"Did you really think I would be fooled?" he whispers into Ben's ear, picks up a death phallus and violently rams into Ben's rectum.
Outside, as the others hear Ben's cry of pain, the throne room door bursts open and Razak's Voiden warriors rush into combat.
Will conjures up a Wall of Fire that manages to keep most of them away while Boris, Siegfried, Petrus, Reggie and Wilbur rush to confront Razak.
The self proclaimed mighty magus has no time to utter a single spell as two volleys of magic and Siegfried's blade are rammed inside him. As he dies his bowels empty and foul smell of shit fills the room.
Wilbur immediately begins fiddling with Ben's locks, while the others finish up the Voiden. Siegfried (I think) reluctantly cuts off Razak's cock.
But they're not safe yet: after being gelded Razak's corpse begins rumbling. Bloody shit, ejaculate and intestine begin squirting out of his ass while his face sinks into his neck. Soon a shit-crusted face pushes out of the intestine - and it's Zal's. Eventually Razak's gone and replaced by the very confused Zal.
"I knew it!" Will yells.
"Zal! You have some explaining to do!" Siegfried demands.
"We did what you wanted, now pay us", says Wilbur.
"I (burp) don't feel so good", Zal mutters and his arse violently prolapses spraying diarrhea everywhere. Razak violently pushes itself from the rectum, gets stuck in the middle. The two amalgamate into an abomination. Shit and blood rain from the sky.
It dies as easily as the last one.
And when the fighting ends, the looting begins. They begin piling interesting stuff on the table. Reggie casts shrink on the throne, Petrus takes a liking to the cunt whip. Will is disgusted by everything and flies away.
Outside he sees the horde of pig men that is racing back to the tower. Wanting to vent his frustration he unleashes his considerable magic upon them.
He didn't count on the fact they were fleeing something - a fearsome golem that was steadily jogging towards them and the tower.
Will casts Wall of Fire on the ground, but the monstrosity is not fazed. Instead it turns its stare towards Will. And jumps. One hit from its great sword makes Will explode into gooey bits.
Then it resumes its journey towards the tower.
Inside the others hear the noises and decide its time for them to go. They enchant the table and pick it up.
"Are we REALLY going to take the table?" Siegfried asks.
"Of course, it's probably the best rape table ever. Someone will pay for it!" Reggie answers.
They are a little too slow as when they reach the ground floor the statue is already at the front gates, hammering at the tower with his weapon.
They run for the backdoor. It is locked.
"I'll pick it!" Wilbur says.
"If you want, you can take additional penalties to rush it", I say.
"Why would I want to do that?"
"Because I'm gonna roll how long it takes for the statue to topple this tower."
This gives them something to think about and Wilbur isn't too certain with his chances. When I nonchalantly roll the lone d30 on the table, it's like a fire was set under the players.
"Wilbur! You have the Knock tattoo!" Petrus advices.
"But I used it already!"
"You can use it twice, it'll just burn away!"
Wilbur heeds the advice and the steel gate swings open. Reggie casts haste on the whole party and they speed towards the ship. To their misfortune, the statue turns to follow them.
Thanks to Haste, the League easily outraces the statue to the harbour. The others jump into the boat, while Ben has Enlarge cast on himself, so he can pull the it.
"All hands on deck! We're leaving!" Reggie yells, when as they climb onboard the Ecstasy of Gold.
"No can do, Cap'n! All the crew's away repairing Sea slut and our sails ain't nearly ready!"
"Fuck. Do what you can, we'll get the crew!"
At Reggie's command Ben pulls the boat to Sea slut and fervently loads their crew into it.
"We're too late! It's here!" Petrus shouts from the skies, pointing towards the shore.
"Maybe it cannot swim?" Boris asks hopefully. Soon after the statue steps into the water and sinks.
For a moment, all is silent.
"All into the other boat!" Siegfried suddenly shouts.
"It's coming towards the ship. We can't let it sink the ship!" he shouts as he lowers the boat.
The others scamper to follow suit.
And they are just in time, just as their boat's tugged away from the ship, a shadow appears in the water.
The statue jumps. It lands on the boat. It shatters it.
Everyone's suddenly waterborne and most are wearing heavy armour. Ben is still at the Sea slut and won't reach them in time.
Siegfried, Boris and Wilbur manage to latch onto ropes thrown by their crew, but Reggie isn't as lucky.
"Come on, Reggie! You're a sailor, only one of us who can properly swim!" Wilbur shouts.
"Zero... hit points... I think this was it for me", Reggie utters and sinks.
Not planning on letting Reggie drown, Wilbur jumps back into the water. With strength stemming from desperation he dives for Reggie and shoves something into his mouth.
"Please work... you're not in the negatives yet..." he pleads.
"What's that now?" I ask.
"Angeldown, from our gardens", Wilbur replies.
"Alright. Well, Reggie, you wake up surrounded by water. You feel surprisingly fine, but Wilbur beside you is about to drown."
"Perkele, you shouldn't have done that. Now I have to save you", Reggie curses, but he already has a plan in his mind: "Ref, Phantasmal Force can create anything I've seen, right?"
"By RAW yes, but I wouldn't abuse it too much, if I were you."
"Of course not, but I've probably seen many kinds of fish during my voyages?"
Reggie works his magics and conjures forth a swordfish. "Giddy up, Wilbur!"
They both fail their saves against Magic meaning the fish stays corporeal for them. They take hold and Reggie commands it to head towards the open sea.
Meanwhile the statue has been trying to swat Petrus out of the sky. He's doing too good a job at it so when Petrus is forced to flee higher and further, it again turns its attention towards Reggie.
"Reggie, you still have a trick up your sleeve?" Wilbur asks.
"Fuck. All my spells are gone. Gunpowder's wet. Weapons won't hurt it. Aye, Wilbur, I got one trick left: praying", Reggie admits. Petrus turns around, but he's too far away and not fast enough to reach them.
So they pray to the Deep ones, they pray to the Kraken and other gods. Reggie even reads from a suspicious scroll he stole from Other Wilbur. But no one answers, when the shadow appears in the water.
(As Reggie often plays out making offerings and being devout to the Kraken, I gave him his level's worth of percents on d100 for a miracle. He wasn't lucky this time.)
The death was inevitable.
"Did I... Did I become a Great Wizard?" Reggie asks, coughing up blood.
"Yes! Yes you did and are! Hang on!" Wilbur yells, while he struggles to keep both afloat.
Reggie turns towards me.
"I wasn't asking just for drama. I'll be dragged to hell, if I don't fulfill the oath I made to Testifier."
I pretend to throw some dice behind the screen and make tally of everything happened so far.
"Last thing you feel before the void is the hellish burden falling off your shoulders", I say.
The statue, battered and cracked from dozens of magic missiles, has another target. It detects Petrus hovering above and jumps in to deal the finishing blow.
But this time Petrus was prepared.
"Here it goes, my last magic missile!"
He lets them fly towards the advancing golem. Large slabs of stone fall away, but a spectral energy keeps the golem moving.
They meet in the air.
And the golem falls apart, the last of its power gone.
Rest of the session goes quickly. Petrus, who also was on his last few hit points, picks up Wilbur and Reggie's surprisingly intact body (-3! Barely dead!). They erect Razak's old throne on their ship and place the embalmed Reggie on it.
"Well. That was definetly a session", Reggie's player says.
And so concludes our playthrough of the infamous Towers two. As you can defer from the excerpts in the beginning of this post, my players really enjoyed the ride. Running this was a real blaze and everything just fit together with the player's twisted imaginations.
Only thing we hated about it was Ragath's animated statue that came in and ruined everyone's day in the end of the adventure. The stats on the thing are just ridiculous: 20DH, 4 attacks all 2d20. Immunity to physical weapons and practical immunity to most status effects.
There's nothing wrong about strong or even unbeatable monsters, but the golem was just boring and reeked of unfinished design. And the lack of any set up only amplified the problems.
(I admit that I fucked up by giving the thing an ability to exchange two attacks for jumping, but by this point all our magic users can fly, and it didn't do the adventure justice to have the last boss be an easy kite.)
Well, atleast it made good prose.
Anyhoo, this was the last chapter in the buffer. Next up is Deep Carbon Observatory and I won't be posting it before we're done with it.
Edit: Here's the link to our Death tracker. This should be the one that'll be updated as we play, so it might be worth following: http://tinyurl.com/ToGtracker
Last edited by Tallu (2016-09-21 00:14:50)