Pirate carousing

When Playing a Pirate adventure, I had the players come up with their own carousing results. Here they are:

Carousing Table

1 - You become lovers with a mermaid or merman. At the start of every session, save vs Paralyzation or you are -1 to hit (naval sex is exhausting). If you fall into the sea, there is a 5-in-6 chance your lover saves you from drowning.
2 - You wake up with a treasure map tattooed on your body. Roll d6 for location: 1 butt cheek, 2 forehead, 3 shoulder blade, 4 back of the head, 5 “tramp stamp”, 6 chest. The Referee secretly rolls two d6’s. The first d6 shows if the place is marked correctly on the map (1-2 yes, 3-6 no). The second d6 defines the treasure (1 pirate booty, 2 ancient prehistoric artifact, 3 time-capsule from the future, 4-6 already taken).
3 - You are now wanted by the Royal Navy. Your portrait (50% chance it actually looks like you) is plastered on walls in all ports, inns, even some villages. Trouble with the authority, but “street cred” with anti-establishment types.
4 - You gamble with the Devil. Both you and the Referee roll 2d6. Lower number wins. If you lose, the Devil collects your soul upon your death (you are marked as the Devil’s own while alive, -2 on Reaction from children, sensitives and animals). If you win, you get a gold-plated violin. If the Devil rolls snake-eyes, he takes your soul instantly and leaves you a soulless zombie. If you roll snake-eyes, the Devil is bound to serve you for one day at a time you summon him.
5 - You befriend a pack of rats. They warn you if the ship you are on is about to sink. On the flip side, you now always smell of rat piss.
6 - Take a card from the Deck of Weird Things. Before reading it, designate a PC or NPC as the receiver of the card’s effect. You cannot receive it yourself.
7 - One of your body parts gets stuck in a giant clam, you cannot get it out until the end of the session. Roll d6: 1 right hand, 2 left hand, 3 right leg, 4 left leg, 5 nose, 6 [redacted].
8 - You take part in a coconut throwing contest. Make a series of ranged attack rolls. The first roll is against AC 12, then AC 14, 16, 18… Keep going as long as you hit, and count the hits. At the end, you gain 100 sp for every hit. However, if you miss the first round (vs AC 12), you are ridiculed and unable to use ranged attacks this session.
9 - You get a terrible “hangover”. Which actually means that you wake up hanging over an active volcano or a tribe’s cooking fire. Save vs Paralyze to break free, on a failure take d8 damage.
10 - You anger the gods. There is a terrible thunderstorm, lasting d4 days.
11  - You frolic by the sea, and see a beautiful mermaid beckoning to you. Roll a Charisma save to see if she gives you a pearl worth d4 gp.
11 - A madman goes through a monologue about how much you have insulted the sea. He looks like William deFoe. Make a Magic save or be attacked by sea life for the rest of the session.
13  - You wake up with a terrible hangover, but you find a treasure map at the bottom of the bottle of rum.
14 - during your excursion, for vague and nondescript reasons you found yourself waking up next to a total stranger of your preferred gender and pronouns, who now needs a lift home. They are a: (1) clown from the circus Maximus (2) a soldier from Port Emerald (3) a pirate from the cove (4) a tribesmen from monkey spine island. The NPC has 1HP and a moral of 3. If the npc dies or takes too long before reaching home, a group of the npc’s friends (1d4+1 lvl one fighters) will track you down, seeking answers and possibly… revenge!
15 -  During your carousing, for vague and nondescript you find yourself waking up next to a stranger, unable to recalls the details of the night before. They claim that they sell their time and now, my friend, it’s time to pay. Roll 1d6: (1) Though they are polite about it, they found the time spent with you was unpleasant and annoying. Double carousing cost and gain half as much XP (2) Neither of you can remember the specifics of your engagement, and they happily depart with a wink and a smile. (no effect)(3) A mutually beneficial transaction occurs. Double carousing cost and XP amount. (4) Tell the group why you paid for this person for their time. Make an attribute check related to this. On a success, your performance was inspiring! Your carousing cost is covered, and the NPC pays YOU this amount for a great time! On a failure, your performance was lackluster at best and left much to be desired. Triple carousing cost. Your reputation with the locals decreases and you get a -1 to cha checks in this town. (5) your time was well spent, and fills you with vigor. Heal an additional 1d6 hit points from the nights rest. If at full, gain 1D4 temporary hit points that last 24 hrs. (6) This was the most amazing experience of this NPC’s life. Unbeknownst to you, they gain a powerful and unhealthy obsession with you and begin to stalk you. They will be seen around most places you go, and will be extremely dodgy explaining why they are there……They refuse to join your group, but always seem to show up at random times, looking guilty and nervous. In your darkest hour, when you are brought down to 0 hp, if at all possible the npc will appear as if by magic from out of the shadows, behind a tree, or almost thin air to catch the killing blow for you and save your life. Amongst their possessions is a journal filled with mad scribblings of love poetry along with a charm person scroll.



16  - You frolic by the sea, and see a beautiful mermaid beckoning to you. Roll a Charisma save to see if she gives you a pearl worth d4 gp.
17  - A madman goes through a monologue about how much you have insulted the sea. He looks like William deFoe. Make a Magic save or be attacked by sealife for the rest of the session.
18 - You are approached by none other than the great Poseidon, who makes lewd advances at you. If you agree, you wake up with a painful bum. If you disagree, you are turned to an sentient horse for the rest of the session if you fail a Magic save.
19 - You wake up with a terrible hangover, but you find a treasure map at the bottom of the bottle of rum.
20 - You get in a game of chance with several salty men, and fortune favors you. You win a map to "A Sea hand's Stash". The "map" is a 2x2 piece of parchment, with nothing save for one giant X. When placed on the ground and struck with a shovel however, you are greeted with the satisfying "Thunk!" of buried treasure. roll 1d6: 1) the "map" tears away to reveal a wooden crate containing 2d6 rations 2) the "map" tears away to reveal a wooden crate containing 2d6 bottles of high quality rum and 1d2 low quality ones. 3) the "map" tears away to reveal a wooden crate containing 5d100 SP 4) the "map" tears away to reveal a wooden crate containing a high quality rapier, a 12 apostles , and 2 dueling pistols 5) the "map" tears away to reveal a wooden crate containing pamphlets and propaganda praising Britain and the King 6) The "map" does not tear away. The "map" can be used 1/day to dig up (and re-bury) "A Sea hand’s Stash". The stash is a 2x2x3' empty wooden crate that the user can fill and unload as they see fit. Food placed in the stash always comes out fresh (tasting HEAVILY of salt) and water is turned into Grog. The stash cannot be removed from the ground by any mortal means, and the map can be placed on any 5x5x5' patch of dry land.
21 - You fall in love with a beautiful person. Turns out, it’s a ship’s figurehead. The love is still real and now you want to steal the statue from its place.
22 - You are challenged to a duel over something absolutely stupid (like preferring rum and coke over rum and gunpowder). Roll d6, the fight is: 1 to the death, 2-4 to the first blood, 5-6 to disarming. You are too drunk to gauge your opponent’s skill, but they might be lower or higher level than you. If you refuse, you are a coward and Reactions to you are at -2 in this town. If you agree, roll initiative and fight the challenger (Fighter [carousing character’s level+2-d4], AC 14).
23 - You insulted one parrot, so from now on, all parrots always insult you in the filthiest way possible. This also means that NPCs with parrots on their shoulder dislike you (-2 on Reaction rolls).
24 -  Pirate prosthetic… Roll d6, 1-2 hook hand (-2 on melee attacks), 3-4 peg leg (counts as a full point of Encumbrance), 5-6 eyepatch (-2 on ranged attacks). Re-roll your hit dice and take the new result if it is lower than your current hit point total.