Re: Tales of Greed, a LotFP campaign report
A new chapter! This one's about the League's last little adventure in Mlag and their visit to Morocco before the Deep Carbon Observatory.
I'm trying to post shorter parts from our campaign, so the time between updates wouldn't get too long.
Last time we left our heroes they had just (barely) survived an assault by unfairly powerful magic statue. One of them, Reggie Harlock, fearsome pirate, had been slain and embalmed.
Everyone was sick of Portugal and wanted to leave.
"Wait a moment, didn't Reggie say something about an Eloi queen? He wanted to kill one for his god or something."
"Reggie's dead, I'm tired and sick of fighting here. Lets just go."
"Reggie died for us! We cannot leave without fulfilling his final wish!"
And in the end they just had to go purge the old lighthouse. It didn't take long. Petrus bombarded the Queen with Stinking cloud paralysing it and most of its guardians and then Siegfried went in and slashed it to ribbons.
(This was also the point where Siegfried's player decided that Warrior's level up table had some too overpowered options and decided to nerf himself. You might notice he's the one of us who's designing classes, balancing rules and doing other crunchy stuff.)
So, after the morning's work the Eloi were dead and the crew was now ready to leave for real. Or they would have, if their crew had been present.
"Where's everyone?" Lorenzo, who's somehow found his way to the ship, asks.
"Oh yeah, I bet they're still repairing the Sea slut. Lets go get 'em", Wilbur remembers.
They sail to the Sea slut, which has been repaired and is already preparing to leave. Captain Olaf is already waiting for them.
"Aye, I reckon'd ye'd be comin", he muses.
"Yes, we'd like our crew back now", Petrus says.
"Ay, I betcha would", says Olaf, "but the thing here now is, and I don't want no trouble meself, but ye crew came to me just this morning, they did. And they said they were done with your ship and would like to serve on it no more. And they asked, whether I needed crew with nothing to lose. An' what I said was 'aye'."
"So. You stole our crew, you bastard", Siegfried butts into the conversation, "do you know what we do to thieves?"
"I betcha you do pretty nasty things", Olaf replies, still calm as the ocean, "but you see, I haven't stolen nothing, just offered a ship to a landlocked crew. Yer own crew stole themselves. I want no trouble from you guys, so if you got trouble, bring it to your EX-crew."
He then hides in his cabin and lets the party's old navigator continue the discussion.
"We ain't comin' back!" he yells.
"We. Had. A. Deal. So you are either going to return all we paid you and pay additional penalty for breaking contract OR you are GOING to play NICE and get back to work until you are given leave", said Siegfried.
"Aint no deal about the Cap'n dyin'! Nor stone giants. Nor satanists on board. We aint comin' back. Deal's off!" the Navigator gave their counterargument.
"So then you'll be paying back the advance, won't you?" Wilbur interjects.
"Well, 'tis dreadfully embarassing, but I reckon' all's been gone since Amsterdam."
"Enough of this circus! You are coming back or I will make you come back! And then you will be grateful we didn't kill you!" Boris shouts.
"Naw that ain't proper. Sorry, guv, but we already made a new deal with Olaf."
"Get that no gooder captain back here!"
The Navigator complies and soon Olaf's back on the deck.
"So, didya sort yer problems out?"
"No! And now you shall return our crew back!"
"I'd really like to help, but no can do. They made their choice and I aint gonna force them anything. Dun wanna lecture anyone, but ye might wanna look into a mirror and think why they left yous."
"This isn't over yet!" Siegfried yells, but the others calm him down.
"I think we lost this one", Wilbur admits.
"If it's any worth to you, ye may have my old crew. Ye'll find 'em in the town", Olaf says, bids his farewells and begins raising the sails.
"Prepare the cannons! We're sinking that ship!" Boris commands.
"... I don't think we have cannons", Siegfried replies.
"Yeah, they were too expensive so had to be cut", Wilbur knows.
"Bah, what kind of ship this is, when it doesn't even have cannons!"
The League marches to the town in frustration and beat up the first sailor they find. Then they shove a bagful of gold into his hands.
"YOU. You fucker are going to find your friends and say there's a keg of rum and another bag for everyone who's sober enough to sail the ship. NOW GO!"
While the startled and very surprised sailor scampers off and the League goes to find what's left of Will, Petrus gets a vile idea. He casts fly and trails the Sea Slut. When he gets near enough, he casts a Death Curse on Olaf. Then he comes back.
"No one fucks with us."
Then they gather their 'new' crew and set sail. They almost hit the lighthouse.
(The party was determined never to meet Olaf again, but we still wanted to roll how long he'd survive with the curse. The poor norwegian sailed for two weeks, meeting worse and worse misfortunes before ultimately being devoured by a shark.)
It soon becomes evident, why Olaf was so eager to ditch his old crew. The bunch couldn't sail themselves out of a bucket. They would never make it to Venice with the crew, so they retrieved their maps and looked for the nearest port.
They decided to make a detour in Tangier, Morocco. There they would hopefully recruit better crew and perhaps even find an entrance to Ghoul Market.
Long story short, they make and they do.
Recruiting crew is no problem as they have more money than any other captain, but they are unsure what to do with the old one. They briefly discuss keelhauling the lot, but in the end cannot bother and just dump them off the side. The useless lot.
First thing they do at the Market is taking Reggie to the Skinsmith, who agrees to sew the pirate back to life. During the process he's inspired by Reggie's new horn and declares he has a pair to go with it. Thus when Reggie wakes up, he sports a pair of demonic goat horns around his straight think-horn. He also knows his god's will has been fulfilled and may request a boon. He requests a scepter fit for a mighty wizard and gains a revelation that one will present itself in four sessions time. Reggie doesn't know what a session means, but unknown are the gods' ways.
Siegfried vows the others not to take him to the smith again, if he dies. Reggie decides to buy a turban.
They also offer the smith what's left of Will. The smith makes meat balls out of the Will bits.
Lorenzo, who appeared back on the ship, heads back to slave market and buys every child and ghoul available. When the others say he won't be allowed to keep the children, he takes them to Skinsmith and makes pastries out of them. Yum!
They then visit Vespero and purchase his stock of health potions, sell most of the unsold loot and peruse his wares. They buy most of his stock, notables include an old portal stone and a curious red potion.
Ben decides to chug the potion. He immediately shrinks to ant size and becomes an angry little ball of crude insults and bigotry.
"Hmm, there's something with Ben and size. When big he becomes stupid, when small he becomes an asshole", Wilbur observes.
"Fuck you and your mother you sand%#¤/%#! %#¤&#%½! #%%! %¤&#€#!" Ben retorts.
"Alright, lets shut you up", Wilbur says and puts Ben in his pocket.
He spends some time in Tangier's bazaar looking for doll sized clothes for Ben, but to his woe the potion's effects end and Ben returns to his original size.
Meanwhile Boris went to visit the Arsenal to try and purchase cannons. But Boris is not the best at making deals nor does he speak the language, so when the rest get back they find the guards are looking for them.
They've had enough of Tangiers anyway.